Sock Goblins

I feel a little shy writing about them, because they are quite secret little fellas and I’m worried about how they will react to the publicity.  I may find I have no socks at all!

Ever wondered where that other sock goes? Well wonder no more – it’s the Sock Goblins.

They have simple needs… the socks keep their ears and tails warm and they find so much joy in a new sock. Sock Goblins do a little dance when they get a new sock or when they are particularly happy.

For instance, if they found a pink stripey sock, a blue spotty sock and a sock with a green toe.

Set yourself up, legs slightly apart, start up a wiggle, then pointing at your left ear, “pink stripes”, pointing at your right ear, “blue spots”, jump turn around and shake your booty, pointing, “green toe”!

It’s a simple dance but effective. With practice you’ll get there in the end!

I am still researching what Sock Goblins do over the holidays but I’ll let you know as soon as it becomes apparent. I know you’ll be waiting with baited breath!

In recent news: It has come to my attention that there is a new and interesting development in Sock Goblin behaviour.  Apparently they will sometimes returnthe socks they have borrowed! Although only reported the once, the socks turn up in a pile of laundry as mysteriously as they disappeared. One can only speculate as to the reasons for this. I have to wonder if this is due to a percieved offence or simply a case of finding a prefered sock.

Nonetheless, whatever the reasons, it is clear that this is new and exciting observed behaviour for these little critters. I sincerely hope this is a case of prefered sock (perhaps they won the sock lottery?) as opposed to an offence. Who knows what havoc and offended Sock Goblin could wreck in your sock drawer/ basket/ store?

More recently than recent news:Suspicious rumours have been circulating regarding the potential existence of Glove Goblins amongst my close friends and acquaintances. Hmmmm. I am really not sure what to make of this. It could of course be true, it could be a Sock Goblin with a mutated fetish.  It could be that you’ve just lost your glove you numpty. Glove Goblins – whatever next?! Seems kinda ludicrous if you ask me.

Do Sock Goblins go on holiday?Apparently so. They appear to have gone to Portugal where they are busy disrupting a household that was pretty much a Sock Goblin virgin. This is the affect that my family has on your household – be warned. Ze Gobleens, zay layke uz.  It also means that they don’t seem to be in need of my warmer socks and as such have returned one to me, via my sister. You know, if a sock goes missing in my house I really don’t think twice – I know where it’s gone. To have one returned by my sister was most mystifying.

To then hear the news that apparently SGs are into immigration was somewhat more bewildering. Slowly, though I have pieced the facts together and it is clear.

 They’re working on their tans.  Watch out – I think your pantyhose might be in danger.

PS- Mulder & Scully – I KNOW you’re not who you say you are, so stop trying – it’s just embarrassing to us all.


One Response

  1. The Truth Is Out There, dude! The increasing requirement, some may say obsession, for irrefutable scientific proof for every phenomena means that all unexplained occurances must be bundled in to what the witness deems as logic. But logic is subjective and not absolute, and as distinguishable as, for example male and female.

    The glove goblin is a distance relative of the sock goblin, distinguishable by their large hands, as opposed to the sock goblins large feet.

    Therefore in conclusion, ne ne!! The glove goblin stole my gloves. And Graham, she’s picking on me again!

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