The Others…

Dum dum dum dum….

They do exist.

Definitely.

No question about it.

You get for instance (and this is just a very quick over view of the few that are around)

The Printer Goblin

Lives in the shredder bin next to the printer in many offices. Jumps out, eats your printing and returns to the shredding bin before you get to the printer to pick up your printing. When you get there it would seem your printing has vanished – it has.

In cases of severe infestation, some goblins take to living inside the printer and eating the printing as it is going through the printer.

Tricky.

Case studies prove that it requires the paper/ink mix in order to get its essential vitamins and minerals, hence why it doesn’t attack stocks of paper or ink stored separately. If this is happening in your office I’d suggest possibly someone is making off with the paper and trying to blame it on the goblins.

This is not fair to the goblins – seriously people – have some respect.

The Signal Mangling Goblin

Lives in a flower-pot in some gardens and ensures that mobile phone/ cell signal is intermittent at best and shocking at most other times.

Has antennae which pick up the signal and divert it into the unsuspecting plant in the plant pot. You generally find the roots of this plant are fairly good at texting and well acquainted with your favourite phrases.

It is understood that this diverted signal is then used to communicate with other goblins in the area for supplies etc, such as socks.

The Gobblin Goblin

Very destructive. Frequently attacks historical monuments. See Pencader as a recent example of this.

For some time the war memorial monument was boarded up due to Goblin infestation. Eventually the correct pest control (unfortunately Gobblin Goblins are pests) was brought in and a new memorial has recently been unveiled.

Gobblin Goblins are ferociously ravenous and make short work of the monuments they infest. Luckily they are rare and easy to deal with when it is clear what is causing the problem and so most monuments will never be attacked.

Phew.

Like I said earlier, this list is not exhaustive and there are many more goblins about. They do tend to inhabit inanimate objects and so if you think  a goblin is the cause of you doing silly things this is unlikely. It is most likely that you are just doing silly things. This is fine, become a clown and you may even make some money doing them.