Getting to the bones of my “Ask”

This started out as my weekly “ask” on Havi’s Sunday Post. Havi posts a personal add or two every Sunday and invites us to take part in the comments, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

This time however, it threatened to start out as a bit of a rant, so I deleted it and changed it into a post, because one should never pass up the opportunity to rant.

It’s just too good for the soul.

My Rant

I keep reading about how things which I think are a load of poo for me right now are actually the things I need the most and will all turn out for the best eventually.

That kind of thing doesn’t help me one bit – I just get annoyed because I keep thinking – can’t I get these things in a pleasant way?

Hmmm Hmmmmm?

Because it seems to me that the universe is a bitch really. Or I should stop reading my horoscope.

Often when I’m desperately seeking reassurance that everything really will be alright I look to others for advice.

Then I get frustrated, disappointed or overwhelmed when that advice is not what I need or want to hear.

But only recently has it occurred to me that maybe this is because I need to meet those needs with reassurance to myself, rather than this being a case of needing external reassurance.

Where have I heard this before?

What springs to mind immediately when I think of this is Robyn Posen‘s Remembering and Celebration card on Others’ views.

It reads:

“When others are interpreting, analyzing, advising or directing you – they are really only communicating what they believe would be appropriate for themselves were they in your situation.

Remember this if you choose to hear their views…Remember too, that in the deep knowing place inside of you, you are the world’s best and only authority on you!

Practice listening inwardly instead of outwardly.”

Her story of this musing is profound and also deeply different to my current situation, but the words on this card are true regardless of the situation.

Robyn is a tireless advocate for self love and acceptance and I love her stories about her “Mommy Inside” and the “Hatchet Lady” and every month I look forward to her Monthly Musing.

But it’s not just her writing that I love; it’s the truth behind it that I recognize.

More and more these days I’m learning that the resources I need are always within.

Want a loving, supportive relationship – have one with yourself first.

Want reassurance that you’re wonderful and superb – give it to yourself rather than trying to get others to give it to you.

Want validation? It comes from you, not from external sources.

Your power is within you.

And only you. Not fate, not destiny, not stars, not angels, fairies or even God. You.

My true Ask:

Is for reassurance and knowledge and trust that everything will be okay, actually better than okay, it will be wonderful.

I would like to know that I am safe.

I would like to know that I am supported.

I would like to know that I have a direction.

I would like to know that, in spite of the happenings of this year that have dented my pride, my ego and yes, my heart, that the future for me, my destiny is still one that is positive, happy, successful and full of love and that
I deserve these things

Aye, this is the reassurance that I have been desperately seeking in my stars and wherever else I have chosen to look.

How this can come to me:

In the soft:

I can remind myself of these things.

I can choose to see things from a positive vantage rather than a negative one.

I can find the deep knowing place every day and access it, through meditation and journaling.

In the hard:

  • I can write my own horoscopes if I choose! And put it on my mirror.

It will say:

“This week will be wonderful. You are wonderful. Yes, yes… you really are. Your heart’s desire for happiness and love? Yes, you do deserve them and it is okay to want them. I know you are scared that they will not come or do not exist because of some dreadful flaw in yourself unknown to anyone other than God or the big I AM, but this is not true and you really are lovely as you are.

I know, this is hard to accept, but yes, as you are is lovely. And it is okay to be lovely, you won’t be punished for it, or for being arrogant for believing that you are lovely.

You are safe with me, I would not lie to you about this.

You are showing courage, determination and perseverance. These are not shallow surface qualities, these are attributes which come from depth within and this is commendable.

You are going on and that is just fine. It is, in fact, bloody marvelous.”

  • The job situation could sort itself out, as detailed in my “ask” that I did actually write in the comments.
  • My application for grant funding could be approved for my course.
  • I’m open to magic, including mystery benefactors, meeting millionaires, finding treasure, being given houses, offers of lump sums of money for no good reason other than my wonderfulness etc, etc as well as good old fashioned fairy dust and wand waving.

My commitment

Is obvious:

  • I shall continue to be open to job offers and opportunity.
  • I shall fill out paperwork necessary for grand funding
  • I shall be nice and gentle to myself and give myself permission to seek reassurance from myself.
  • I shall indeed put a pretty note on my mirror reminding myself of my general good fortune to follow. “This year Scorpio you will be on fiiiiiire. Sssss. I sees it is so cos I looks in my magic eight ball. Etc etc.”
  • If offered magic opportunities I shall be open to them as well as sensible so I will not end up stumbling on a dreadful un-magic opportunity having mistaken it for a magic opportunity. This way I shall stay safe.
  • I shall begin to put in place a contingency plan. I have no idea what this is yet, but I am willing to consider it.

3 Responses

  1. I needed to read exactly this today. I am wishing you big, reassuring, magic.

  2. @Bridget – Thank you for your kind wishes of magic. They are received with much appreciation.

    I’m so glad this has helped in any little way – I hope you are able to give yourself whatever it is you need.

    Much love. 🙂

  3. […] Then I realised I was asking for things in all the wrong ways and so decided to get to the bones of my ask. […]

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