Remembering a dream

A movie, a hotdog and more 7Up than one person should be able to drink…

Last night we watched Fame (2009) and oh yes, it was fabulous.

Obviously, don’t watch it if you’re after a deep and hard hitting story line because that’s just setting yourself up for disappointment. But if you’re after good dancing, singing and general entertainment then this is the movie for you.

After we’d watched these gorgeous, young people perform their hearts out at the end of year production and turned to each other saying, “Can’t wait for Construction Management on Friday can you?” all very tongue in cheek, I listened to them talking about dreams, success and fame and it struck a cord.

The meaning behind it all…

I realized that I used to believe in these things myself.

I realized that I used to have an incredible belief that I could do and succeed at anything I turned my hand to because I was me.

So I was a little sad at thinking that I’ve let that go, because I have – I question my ability now at pretty much everything, and I also thought that there’s no need for me to carry on as I am.

I can reclaim that belief in myself and reignite the dream I once had, which was to set the world alight by being myself.

Being alive, feeling alive.

Noticing the tiny moments and snippets of time which freeze in your memory as something significant and infinitely precious.

Knowing that it is these that make our lives.

Knowing now, with a little bit of life experience behind me, that these will too include pain and that too is okay.

My life and all its drama unfolding…

Right now in my life things are uncertain and I find myself craving stability and certainty, thinking that there is not much I wouldn’t give right now just to know where the next step will be.

This is so frightening for me to go through and I am finding it incredibly tough to maintain my resilience and get up to face another day.

Keep calm and carry on.

Only I’m inclined to fits of drama to spice things up.

But this realization that I’d like to reclaim the tiny moments reminds me that life is poignant and precious, even during this time that is so trying to me.

Within this all there is much to be grateful for and I most genuinely am.

I’m talking about my kitty’s face as she peers with curiosity into my jewelry drawer, looking round eyed and cute as anything.

Or hugs with my friends in comfort followed by laughter as we use some good ol’ fashioned humour to cope with things.

The kindness of my mum and my family as I panic about money and wonder where things are going with my job.

It is the people around me who make my life and I intend to hold onto this as my little life raft during a time of change and uncertainty for me.


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