Biggification – it’s not just for business you know

Havi writes about Biggification and your Right People in a big way (ho ho – see what I did there?).

Normally I read along (because I’m addicted to Havi – seriously… addicted), nod and think, “Well that’s very nice and very true, but I’m not self employed so it’s not really applicable to me.”

Cue the DOH! Moment, which unleashed itself on me over the last few days as I realize just how wrong I have been.

Basically, I understand the concept to be:

Biggification = essential to enabling your Right People to find you.

This is easy to apply to business – right people are your ideal customers etc, etc. Yup. Got that but…

What if…Right People = friends and Biggification = letting your good stuff out with a whammy, rather than that nasty m related word.

The DOH! Moment came because I’ve been thinking that really, I’m a bit tired of raking over the fears and the stuckness and basically “what’s wrong” with me.

Jeez – I am always going to be scared of something. ALWAYS. Because fear is a basic survival thingy and I’m fond of surviving.

A friend recently wrote to me with a very insightful comment about being a loving and generous person but not expecting the same thing back.

Spot. On.

So I then got thinking about letting myself get love back and that led me onto the concept of maybe expressing myself better and yada yada.

Goodness, this seems so basic to me… now.

I’m guilty of keeping myself very wrapped up – I am a Scorpio after all.

I love people, I love getting to know them. I am scared shitless of them getting to know me – because they might laugh or something.

But over the last few days I’ve really practiced letting go of all that self protection and letting people in to a difficult process for me.

Instead of making believe all is fine, I’ve admitted to feeling rubbish and I’ve even said what’s happening to make me feel so rubbish. I’ve shared what I’m doing to process and shift the Hard, even the really “woo- woo” stuff.

I’ve realized that I like people getting to know me and letting people in. It brings a very powerful appreciation for who they are and what they are giving me by listening and caring and um, they don’t think I’m a bit distant and possibly stuck up. Or taking them for granted.

Oh.

So where to now? (ahem, excuse the very Welsh turn of phrase)

I’d like to start exploring and appreciating who I am. Things like,

“Thinking, exploring, analyzing and recognizing patterns are very much a part of me. Yes, this is why I am always looking for the root of what is going on in my life. It does make me intense, but it also lends me an exceptional ability to interpret a contract or get to the bottom of a problem at work. It has both spiritual/ personal benefits and professional benefits.”

Ah- it is in fact, part of what makes me good at my job then.

Oh. OH.

Or figuring out that actually – when I let people see parts of me I usually keep hidden (NOT my knickers… sigh), such as my beliefs or how much I care about them I usually end up with the most amazing friends.

Like my friend Kath, who apart from being just marvelous anyway, got all delighted when I admitted I was into some strange stuff like casting the odd spell when I was first getting to know her.

Or my housemate, who when I’m feeling absolutely rotten and generally am full of snot and tears, listens patiently, gives me hugs and reassures me that this too shall pass. Then she checks in with me through the day to make sure I’ve not had another melt down.

If I hadn’t let on that I have some um, alternative beliefs or that I was feeling rotten, if I was just pretending that everything was fine or I was just into bog standard life then I don’t think I’d have two such fantastic, solid friends to rely on now. I’d have acquaintances.

Letting yourself be yourself, uninhibited and fully as you are right now means that your Right People, aka potential friends/ lifelines, can look at you and recognize the qualities that they look for in a friend and embrace it.

It lets them know that you’re there – the right kind of friend for them because hell, they’re going to need your ability to love and give generously, your ability to nurture and support them towards their dreams, your sense of humour to pick them up when they’re down, your company to have a beer  and good times with and much, much more.

If you aren’t being yourself, if you’re keeping your little soul hidden under wraps in case someone doesn’t like what they see, then these poor people are going to miss out on the gloriousness of knowing you.

That would be a damn shame.

So the Biggification then?

Well – it’s going to involve looking at the good parts of me – the bits that are uniquely me and making them BIG.

Getting gloriously involved in the sparkly bits, exploring them, taking time to get to the bottom of what really makes me tick (it’s not the fears that make me tick I’m realizing, it’s the fabulous stuff).

Stepping out and thinking: Well here I am – don’tcha love it?!

Years of critically examining my weakness means that it is very easy to spot something “wrong”, now it’s time to spot the “right” things and celebrate in them and the next person I meet – I’m going to let them enjoy getting to know me.

I’m planning to write about it here, although in no set format – routine doesn’t sit well with me, and hopefully I’ll do it in a non arrogant way.

I’d love it if you joined in with the comments because it’s fun to play these games together.

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8 Responses

  1. WOOHOOO!!!

    Amen to this 😀

    I think the sparkly parts of you are great 🙂

  2. I adore this post! Here’s to big in all forms and places!!!!

  3. “Letting yourself be yourself, uninhibited and fully as you are right now means that your Right People, aka potential friends/ lifelines, can look at you and recognize the qualities that they look for in a friend and embrace it.” LOVE this!
    and all the rest..and would like to point to each piece i love..lol..but i’d just wind up quoting the WHOLE post! All I can add is YEAH Bigness and being us-ness and Go, girl, Go! And YES to taking our place in the world in all ways…

  4. I’m glad you appreciate my appreciation of you my eccentric little friend! If people don’t appreciate the real you then they don’t deserve to have you enriching their lives with all the spooky stuff that you talk about that I love so much,mixed with the sensible bollocks that shouldn’t come out of the mouth of someone so young but is always spot on! Never never never never change. Life is way too short to be a bland blah blah person! Sod all the blah people. Us odd bods bloody rock!!!!

  5. Ms Kathy I appreciate your appreication of me more than you could know!

    And Hurrah to Odd Bods, sparkly bits, taking our place in the world, being us-ness and refusing to be bland blah blah people!

    Bring. It. On!

  6. […] Sounds a little strange no? No. Most definitely not. (You can read about it here) […]

  7. I’m a little late to this post, but mucho gusto! Especially “and um, they don’t think I’m a bit distant and possibly stuck up.” Heavenly. Can’t wait for more of this!

  8. Echoing everything that Square-Peg Karen said. This post is full of greatness! I’m looking forward to following your personal Biggification thing.

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