Little me.

This morning. This weekend. Ugh.

Overwhelm. Dizziness. Feeling small, pathetic and vulnerable.

Overwhelmingly vulnerable. Please-just-give-me-a-duvet-and-rub-my-back vulnerability.

Feeling utterly, utterly terrified by the vulnerability.

Because I am totally petrified of having to ask for support when I feel this …. little.

Especially when it comes out of apparently nowhere and for no apparent good reason. Just showing up, screaming at me, “I want a hug!”

All I want to ask is, “But why?”

It’s not interested in answering; it just wants its god dammed hug.

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3 Responses

  1. *e-hug*

    That’s a scary horrible feeling. I am going to make a cup of tea, I will think of you whilst I’m doing that. Maybe a molecule somewhere will change as a result, maybe somehow it will trigger a thousand million changes that might end in you feeling a tiny bit better. Hope springs eternal.
    xx

  2. Thank you, I do in actual fact feel a tiny bit better. 🙂

    e-hugs are surprisingly comforting.

  3. I get days like that, when I feel like “the Noo” (Thai word for little mouse, commonly used as a pronoun by girls until they are adults) for no obvious reason.

    My partner and I eventually worked out that we should refer to such days as “blankie days”, i.e. days when you just want to be wrapped in a blanket on the couch and maybe offered a cup of tea and don’t need a reason for these things other than you’re inexplicably not wanting to interact with the world and just need comfort and love.

    We discovered it took the guilt and angst away from both sides and just allowed for the comfort that was needed.

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