After conversations with my Third Chakra…

Two things occurred to me today:

  1. I don’t want to move forward out of a safe zone because it’s safe and known.

    Why have I not got out of my bed and got on my bike in the sun? Because my bed is safe, known, warm and cozy, and I am also quite exhausted. I may fall off my bike (due to riding like a loony, it’s the only way that’s fun for me; like Phoebe running in Friends) and I am scared of hurting my body.

    I do not “have time” to look at my Dance of Shiva stuff, read and do exercises from a book etc because actually, I don’t want to move forward all that much right now. Where I am right now is nice and safe and known.

    I don’t even really want to go into detail on this stuff because I’m feeling like I just want to be SAFE. To uncover it would be to initiate change.

    That’s enough change thank you. That’s enough learning thank you.

    What’s that? Oh, you mean that if I want to move forward I might need to look at a bit more stuff? But I don’t waaaaaaaannnnnnt to. WAH.

    It’s tiring, exhausting. It leaves me raw and stripped bare.

    My mind and heart are constantly occupied by uncovering stuckness and getting to know the new me.

    Every day of being true to myself requires a reserve of courage and love and it’s there, but I also want a little rest please? PLEASE?

    Thank you.

  2. On being me- I’m afraid to fully take up the mantle of being me. I know who I am – I am magnificent, bold, incredibly perceptive, courageous, intelligent, kind and strong.

    I am also nervous to step into those shoes in case I put anyone’s nose out of joint and get told to shut up and stop being so arrogant. Which Results in me becoming anxious, insecure, indecisive and non-forthcoming.

    I greatly suspect if I really was myself, undaunted by self doubt, I could take over the world. My world at least.

    However, I shrink from this great display and exhibitionism because after all, who am I to think I deserve this?

It’s interesting to me to uncover these two beliefs guarding my life today, because neither of them had even occurred to me until today.

The bed one came to me very quickly when I questioned myself on it and the Who am I to be myself one when I wrote a reply to Havi’s comment on my post yesterday and inadvertently had a conversation with my third chakra which surprised me.

It’ll be even more interesting to me to see where these realisations take me. For now, I’m staying in bed until I’m ready to get up.

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4 Responses

  1. Both of these, BOTH OF THEM also apply to me right now. I want safety, and I want um… shrinkage. I don’t know how to sum up the second one. I’m not comfy in the limelight.

    I fully, fully understand how you feel!

  2. I’m so resonating with this, too. Thank you. 🙂

  3. @ Joely and @SariO – Full Wormy permission to crawl back under the covers until you feel safe.

  4. Hurrah again! Yes, bed is a wonderful, safe, warm and cosy place. I shall be headed there very shortly to stay for a long while!

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