The Answers you get when you try listen to your body.

Ha ha. I totally freaked my body out the other night.

 I was lying in bed with my head all in a tizzwazz, full of jumbled up thoughts and thinking, “I HAVE to sort this mess out. I CAN’T go on like this. WHY is this up to me to sort out? Blahdeblahdeblah.”

Then I thought to myself, “I know, I’ll try a little of my own advice. I’ll ask my body what it wants to do. I’ll listen to some other parts of me than just my head.” So:


ME: Body, hello. You know this rubbish in my head yeah?

BODY:    Hello. Why are you talking to me? This is very strange to be talked to.

ME: Is it? That’s interesting. Anyway, back to business, I’m hoping for your steer on things really. You know, on this tizzwazz in my head.

BODY: (*&(^*&%&*^%£%£^$^&%*$£^!!! HUH? Dude – you just spoke to me. Your BODY. You know I’m a collection of limbs and skin right? Just limbs and skin and some other stuff.

ME: Yes, I do want your input. I think it could help.

BODY: ^%£^%£&%*%^£&*()**%(&$!!!! HUH???

ME: Look the stupid incredulous thing is losing its charm. Your opinion please.

BODY: Seriously, you’ve just asked me for an opinion for the first time ever. Sorry, but it’s going to take me a while to get over the shock.

ME: Oh fine then! Sod off to you too. I’m going to sleep if you’re going to be like that.


So that went well huh? J


10 Responses

  1. At least you got a conversation! I can’t wait to see what happens next time. 😀

  2. LOL yeah. It was actually very amusing witnessing the complete confusion and shock. Bless my little cotton socks, or should I say arms and legs and torso?

    Also wondering – just how insane are you when you start talking to your body and expecting an answer? 😀

  3. Hilarious!

    That is almost a verbatim transcription of the conversation I had first time I tried to talk to my (warning: yoga wackiness) third chakra.

    Seriously. It was all, “Hahahahaha, look at you up there, all of a sudden caring what goes on down here. Did you expect tea and cake? Did you want a stupid party? Because we’re not used to having royalty in these parts” and then went on for a while in the most bitchy, sarcastic manner possible.

    And I thought, Geez, no wonder I never hang out here.

    It kind of took a while to make up.

    So I’m with Joely, at least you’re talking.

    But yeah, no fun!

  4. @havi Oh I can imagine. If I wanted to have a chat with my third chakra I can envisage something like (in a nice London accent for some reason):

    “Oi! Whaddya fink you’re doing here huh? Who do you fink you are, jus tripping down here looking for an Audience? You fink you’re sooooo special don’t ya all ladida-ing it up there in your head, finking grand foughts about love ‘n shit. You ain’t so posh ya know, so run along now kiddo.”

    Gosh, I think I just had a conversation with my third chakra! Who’d have guessed it would have a London accent? I think I may have just uncovered a fundamental belief of mine – Who do *you* think you are to be asking …… of this world huh?

    Ah and that’s just in reply to a comment!

  5. How did I miss all these posts?! You moved, and I missed it! *sigh*

    Anyway. I love it! Since I’ve just recently started having conversations with different parts of my psyche I am all for conversations with your body. 🙂

    And I totally didn’t realise you were in the UK too, man I can be a dunce sometimes, huh?

  6. I can’t remember the first time I listened to my body, though I’m pretty sure it was when an amazing massage therapist lived upstairs from us. I’d schedule a rub for 6 PM or so and then float downstairs and go to bed.

    Of course, it didn’t take long for me to do what I habitually do in relationships: I turned it into a client. I was either doing the right things to help it or I wasn’t. When I thought I was helping and my body felt good, I felt like a hero. When my body hurt or complained, I knew it was my fault.

    One night, a couple of years after Claire, the wonderful massage therapist, had moved I went to her little house on the beach for a rub. I remember that my back was very tight, and about 20 minutes into the rub, I commented on it. It was embarrassing enough to be so tight; I didn’t want clear to think that I was also unconscious. (Heaven forfend.)

    Claire stroked my back and said, “Good back. Kind back. Thank you for working so hard for me.”

    It blew my mind. And as I tell the story, it’s blowing it again.

    Around the same time as I was working with clear — 20 or so years ago — my husband accused me of having “bad ears.” Though my hearing is especially acute, he seemed to think that I didn’t hear what he actually said much of the time. I’ve come to see that was true.

    Now I’m coming to see that I’ve done the same thing when listening to my body. The more I strained to hear, the more garbled the message can be.

    I don’t want you to think this is a downer or anything. I’ve gotten to the point where it’s all a Divine Comedy. It’s fun to discover a new way that I’ve been playing hide and seek with myself.

  7. OMG this was hilarious! You are my new favorite person. Just to be sure, I double-confirmed with my right big toe. He was like, “Yeah, sure. Her name is Wormy? Go for it. Later dude.”

  8. [Waking up]: What is THAT?!


    My back! All my back ribs. It hurts to move.

    Oh god, it’s probably early onset paralysis…

    Oh no! Won’t be able to ever have sex again… oh no…

    Forget sex, girl, you won’t be able to eat! You’ll probably lose the use of your tongue completely and need a feeding tube…

    [Gasp] Tongue? Did you say tongue? Forget food! What about kissing?!

    Ah, no matter, who’d want to kiss you all paralysed and drooling anyway—

    Oh dear… And I won’t be able to keep taking that belly dance class I just started last night… Ahhhh, belly dancing, that was so much fun: all those women and girls of all ages, shapes and sizes, lined up in rows, making small, subtle circles with our chests and ribcages—

    Um, Heidi?


    About that belly dancing…


    Might this early onset paralysis simply be a little soreness from using those dear little intercostal muscles that help you breathe and give your ribcage flexibility?

    Oh yeah! Ow!

    What now?

    Hurts to laugh.

    m-hmmm… hurts pretty good though, doesn’t it?–

    Yeah, I suppose.

    —-All this to say, it’s hard to be bored between the movies in the head, the thoughts in the mind, the aches between the ribs… Hello body, hello mind, hello world! Thank you for the post, Wormy!!!

  9. @ James – sorry, forgot to publically announce it or even leave a message on my old blog. In my defense, I had a stinky cold at the time and my brain was not functioning. Furthermore, nor did I realise you were in the UK – let’s be dunces together.

    @ Molly – don’t worry, it’s not a downer. I hear what you’re saying and yes I totally agree with you. Sometimes you’re trying to listen too hard when you just need to step back and see/ feel from a different perspective.

    @Kelly – YAY. I’m very glad your big toe wants me to be your new favourite person. 🙂

    @Heidi – Haha! I completely identify with this.

  10. […] have a Dominatrix in my shoulder blades. Posted on July 16, 2009 by Wormy I learned the funny way that asking my body for specific feedback is not the most productive way to engage in dialogue with […]

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