Shaking hands with anger

Oh I think I’m supposed to be off doing something or about to be off doing something or just something. So this is a quick one – likely to be badly written and noticeably rushed, nonetheless I am compelled to write about it.

ANGER – Grrrrrrr.

Letting myself feel it = BIG issue. No reason to go into the reasons – just is. It presses massive abandonment buttons in me- “if I show my anger/ get anger/ think angry thoughts yadda yadda, so and so won’t love me” and so on and so forth. I know I sound blasé about this, but after several months of intense introspection I’ve recently been finding myself fed up of it, and yet unable to stop. Therefore, my frustration with this is beginning to show.

Today, however, I did let myself feel angry. I didn’t act all ragey or loud or anything. In fact, I started first to feel the hurt which I then felt turn into anger and I let that stay, instead of quickly trying to process through it.

It helped me.

I felt my hurt justified when I gave myself permission to feel angry and I was able to do some stuff that I haven’t done until now – because I was afraid to do it. The anger stopped my people pleasing tendencies in its tracks and allowed me to do something that was good for me; my state of mind. It helped me stop being too nice. I liked that feeling – empowered.

“How do you do Ms Angry? I am very pleased to meet you. Come in, take a seat and let us get to know each other.”

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2 Responses

  1. Seriously, are you me but in Wales?
    I have this EXACT SAME PROBLEM. I just can’t seem to let myself get angry. I am a people pleaser and suppress all of my anger because so and so won’t love me if I get angry.
    This has inspired me to let myself get angry 🙂
    Thank you!

  2. You know – I think we might be the same person just on different sides of the world. It could be dangerous if we ever meet – would mess up the universe big stylie I’m sure! 😀

    I’m pretty chuffed this has inspired you to get angry – anger can be a really positive force when used…ummmm… properly (?) Kick starts you into action, stops bad decisions, prevents people taking advantage of you – the list is endless.

    I’d just like to be able to remember this more when I’m busy beating up on myself for feeling angry. (It’s that Sgt Major voice – can’t get rid of it!)

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